Broken
by Rose Thorne
Summary: Zelgadis goes into berserker mode, and no one knows why since Rezo is long gone. Xellos/Zelgadis


**Broken**

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: _Slayers_ is owned by a bunch of folks who aren't me. I'm borrowing them for my perverse pleasure, much as Xellos borrows emotions for his.

* * *

By the time Xellos realized there was a problem and came to check on them, it was clear Lina, Gourry, and Amelia were at their wits' end. It should have been obvious, since they had been stationary for so long—a week had always been pushing it for them, and it had been a week and a half—but to a Mazoku time meant very little. Really, he hadn't thought about it at all, and had come for Zelgadis.

He arrived to find Zelgadis wrapped in magical bindings that could only be Laphas Seed. The reasoning was obvious and not simply because Xellos, being Mazoku, could sense it. He could _see_ from the chimera's eyes that the human part of him was not in control. From the taste of the residual magic in the air, the spell had been recast each hour to keep him bound, and Flow Break had been cast at least once, which indicated the cause of this was not magical in nature—or at least not something easily broken, perhaps a Mazoku or Ryuuzoku power.

Lina immediately pounced on him. None of them looked well, but he guessed her excess of magical power had been used almost exclusively.

This had clearly been going on for most of the time they had been stationary.

"Help him, Xellos!"

He would have anyway, gladly. The sight of him, wrapped in bonds of white magic—bonds that would be painful to Xellos and under the circumstances might be to Zelgadis as well—was disconcerting, to say the least.

Worse, perhaps, was the fact that the humanity that had always been in Zelgadis was absent. Xellos didn't think it was possible for one of his aspects to die, but this… This looked close enough to make his blood—figuratively, anyway—run cold at the very idea.

He wasn't sure he wanted to verify if that was the case.

"What happened?" he finally asked.

The story was told in bits and pieces, mostly by Lina and Amelia, but with Gourry adding useful tidbits now and again.

A piece of the Claire Bible—rumored, anyway; Xellos himself had taken care of this particular piece decades ago, though he didn't share it—had brought about this incident. They had, indeed, found the location, _this_ location, as Xellos had left it, empty of the fragment. Unfortunately, they had set off some sort of trap he, as Mazoku, had avoided, if only because it hadn't been set up to attack Mazoku.

It had bombarded them with horrid memories, twisted by the trap. The effects would have likely kept them in its throes until they had died—there were old bodies, some nothing more than bones—and it had nearly done so, the memories so overwhelming them and rendering them helpless

Except for Zelgadis, who had fought it off long enough to find and destroy the object that had been holding the spell.

That in itself was concerning, with the possibility there had been a backlash…

"Did he fall into this state immediately?" he asked, interrupting a bit of a ramble by Amelia.

Lina shook her head. "No, that's the thing. Zel was fine, and we decided to camp here since it really messed everyone up… He woke up like this."

That ruled out a backlash—had it been one, he would have been affected immediately—but it still left a variety of other terrible options.

"When Rezo controlled him just hitting him worked," Lina continued, drawing his attention. "But we tried that, but with Rezo gone this shouldn't be happening. We even tried Flow Break, Nothing worked. If it was a residual spell, Flow Break would have worked, right?"

On a human, it would have, but when it came to Zelgadis… Xellos couldn't be certain his non-human aspects wouldn't protect a residual spell.

He refused to think of the alternatives for the moment—the possibility Zelgadis' human aspect and therefore everything that made Zelgadis Zelgadis could be dead, the idea that someone else could be controlling him, or that, with the true death of Rezo, the spell that held the chimera together was unraveling—but if it was a residual spell it meant the chimera had potentially been trapped in his most terrible memories for over a week.

Under the circumstances, Xellos wished he'd come sooner.

"Can you do anything?" Amelia asked softly. Her question was reflected in Lina and Gourry's expressions.

Xellos hadn't been able to prevent his expression from slipping during their explanation, and pasting on a smile would hardly be reassuring at this point. He decided to go with flat honesty.

"Perhaps. It might not matter what I do, though, after so long."

Although it hadn't been his intent, the way Amelia's face crumbled was satisfying—but it would have been far more satisfying if the situation was different.

"But I will try." Their collective relief was like a terrible odor, and he sighed in annoyance. "Go to one of the nearby towns."

Amelia was the one who balked. "B-but, without Laphas Seed, he'll attack you, Xellos-san!"

"He cannot harm me."

At least, not physically. Not knowing what was wrong with him… and the possibility he could be _gone_… hurt.

It took a bit of convincing, but under the circumstances they knew they could not help Zelgadis. While Xellos could not guarantee he could, they knew he was the best hope.

Lina, unsurprisingly, was the one who lingered.

"If… if you can't help him…?"

He had expected her question, so it didn't surprise him, but it was hard to answer.

"If it's too late, Lina-san, I won't make him suffer."

She winced, but nodded, before she followed Amelia and Gourry.

The white magic bonds would dissipate without Lina there to strengthen them. Although they lasted an hour normally, the sorceress hadn't renewed the spell since he'd arrived, which gave him ten minutes or less before it wore off.

He could will them away with minimal effort, but for the moment it gave him the opportunity to study Zelgadis, probe him from the Astral plane.

The aspect on the surface was the golem third. This was relieving because it protected Zelgadis' demon third from the white magic Lina had cast on him, but it was troublesome as well. It prevented Xellos from seeing what the problem was. He would have to touch the chimera to find out, which was the other reason he was holding off.

If Zelgadis was beyond saving, he wanted to delay knowing as long as possible. He wanted a moment of denial.

But that same moment would, if the worst was not the case, delay helping Zelgadis. And if he was trapped within himself, it was important not to delay.

So when ten minutes came and went without the disappearance of the strands of white magic, Xellos stepped forward and willed them away himself.

Zelgadis immediately attacked, but the attack was weakened by a lack of nutrition for a week and a half. Not as weak as a human would be, but weak enough that it was incredibly simple to immobilize him.

Touch was not enough to feel the problem—he needed a more intimate contact—so he did the most expedient thing.

He kissed Zelgadis.

This wasn't unusual at all; after all, he had come in a moment of free time in order to have sex with Zelgadis. Their relationship had been going on for more than a year, had started long before, when Xellos had successfully seduced him shortly before Femille. Of course, that had been a one-time thing after his identity had been revealed, but the Mazoku was able to explain himself during their time in the outside world. Ever the suspicious one, the chimera had assumed Xellos wanted to manipulate him.

Which, while technically true, only applied in a sexual way.

Kissing him now wasn't sexual, but diagnostic, and he nearly sagged in relief at the _feel_ of the continued existence of the human third.

But the miasma of his emotions, what had been blocked somehow by the golem third—he hadn't felt anything, it was blocked so effectively—were more than a little concerning.

All negative, more negative than he had ever felt from Zelgadis, even in his darkest moment, when Rezo had informed him there was no cure. This was far worse, this deep, dark depression, the spikes of emotional pain, fear, horror, rage, grief, all in quick waves.

If he had been experiencing this for over a _week_…

Destroying the focus had caused the spell to backlash after all, with a delay. Just as Zelgadis had been able to fight its effects because of his unique nature, his nature had delayed the backlash's effect on him. And then that very same nature had prevented Flow Break from working.

Quickly, Xellos felt for the spell, yanked it, pulling clear out of the mortal plane entirely, away from Zelgadis.

The chimera jerked under him, his breath stuttering in Xellos' mouth.

He pulled in time to see the humanity return to Zel's eyes, and then the shaman was laughing hysterically, leaving Xellos to wonder if he had been too late.

Bombarded by nothing but negative emotions and twisted, terrible memories for so long could have a permanent effect. The chaos of his emotions was not terribly promising.

He could feel the damage to Zelgadis' psyche, the gaping wound left by so much sustained emotional turmoil, the almost yawning emptiness inside of him where the spell had eaten away at him.

But in the next moment, Zelgadis was kissing him deeply, desperately, only pulling away when he lost his breath.

"What took you so long, you bastard?"

With those words, Xellos knew Zelgadis would eventually recover.

And, he decided when the chimera began insistently, if weakly, pulling at his clothing, he was more than willing to help with the process.

* * *

Written for Springkink: Slayers, Xel/Zel: angst, losing control - Zelgadis goes into berserker mode, no one knows why since Rezo is long gone, but Xelloss is the only one who can get through to him.

This one was difficult, and doesn't exactly follow the prompt, but it got done.


End file.
